She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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