i was born a porn star she said
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
