your room smells of hookers.
And success
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
