You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
