Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We have started to decorate penises.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
