it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
