I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
