The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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