You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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