My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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