Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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