He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
