Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize