tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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