She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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