There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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