What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize