if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
