I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
