High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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