if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
