wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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