ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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