Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
