your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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