Dual....:-)
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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