problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
