I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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