yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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