Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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