sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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