Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize