she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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