the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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