yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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