her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The air was thick with penises
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
