This is not my ceiling
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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