I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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