He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
