at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
