my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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