I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
