But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
