As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
