i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
