it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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