grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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