He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
