Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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