it wasn't lemon gatorade
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
