when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
