I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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