Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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