SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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