My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
