is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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