Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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