I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize