its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
