wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
