he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
